Last Post of 2008

So this is it, 2008 is finally over. I am both apprehensive and excited for this upcoming year. I am planning on making this year, a year full of personal growth and development in every aspect of my life. I am nervous for what lies ahead, but I am ready to take on whatever comes my way.
Hello 2009.

Tonight I have work. 4-8?9?10? who knows when I will actually get out. Hopefully not too late. As for tonight's festivities, I am not too sure what I am doing. Matt's house perhaps? or Josh's? I am not concerned with getting completely shit-faced and bombed for the new year, instead I would just like to be surrounded by some good friends, and relax.

I am going to quit cigarettes for the new year, start getting back in shape and start working out again. I leave for vacation on Sunday and am not in nearly as good of shape as I wanted to be in, but oh well. I hope to enjoy my time on the cruise to its fullest extent.

I think this is all for now. Work awaits in a half hour and I managed to write 4 paragraphs about absolutely nothing. Cool. I hope to post a lot more frequently in this in 2009 also, but who knows.

See you soon.

Happy New Year!

I dont even know.

I am currently in my present state of mind. Where I find peace all of the emotions that exsist inside of me. I am slowly drifting back into the realm of my own realitly. What lurks behind the sheets does not dare whisper love in ones here. This conquest is far to great for the depths of a single souls understanding. Where ever I find happiness is where I shall rest. This conquest has only begun.

new blog, blog new, blog.

Just wrote this poem, doesn't have a name or a face.

Enjoy.

We exist between the pages of penmanship we create,
And for lack of better words, it defines who we are.
We can only be who everyone else wants us to be.

Nothing but the feeble minds of today’s youth
Will shake the hands and open the doors of tomorrow.
Crumbling beneath this red winter sky tonight
Will be all that I need to satisfy the agenda of others.
We can only be who everyone else wants us to be.

We construct the dead ends and refurbish our misconstrued thoughts
To fit the exact mold of those who’s hands are dipped in gold.
In big bold letters the headline will read:
We can only be who everyone else wants us to be.

Typical.

So we have all feasted with family and friends. Our stomachs full, and all we want to do is sleep.

Thanksgiving Day is now over, which means the official start to the Christmas season has begun (even though retailers and stupid fucks started getting ready the day after Halloween). I am sure everybody is getting to sleep early tonight to wake up at 3:00 AM to catch the black Friday sales...fuck that.

The holiday season will be different for me this year. I am not focusing on gifts and mindless bullshit. Instead I am going to focus on family, friends, music, and simply enjoying my time. I plan on writing a lot this season and taking many pictures. Also, I plan on relaxing a lot. For the first time in my life I can truly say I do not want anything for Christmas. I have everything I need, and money to buy myself the things I want. Simplicity is key to me this Christmas. Just two weeks left of classes then I will be able to enjoy it.

So after an extremely busy day at work yesterday, I was upset to find out about the bombings in India. It is very possible that this is yet another false flag operation (like 9/11) as a ploy for action to be taken in Pakistan. The terror alert is now raised in America and could quite possibly ruin the holiday season for many people. They are suggesting that NYC may be attacked before Christmas. This sickens me. Horrible. All that will come of this is us taking military action in Pakistan and hundreds of thousands of Innocent people dead for the benefit of the people up top in charge of everything. We are just a pawn. Okay sorry now I am just ranting...This is just my opinion based on my research.

Anyway...I have my last two weeks of classes coming up. I have a great deal of work to do before the end of the semester and I am not looking forward to it. It should be worth it though for after that I get to enjoy my month off.

Oh well I think I am done for now. The Office wasn't on tonight and I am pissed.

Until next time.

Happy Thanksgiving

poems.

UNTITLED 1

This is a constant mess,
My life scattered on guest checks and paper scraps.
If only these words could describe the reality of the situation,
And not the over dramatic scriptures of “woe is me.”
I am sick and tired of the constant blur of everyday life,
And I am sick and tired of bitching about it.
I am willing to let go, if someone is willing to catch me,
Or at least break my fall.
________________________________________________

UNTITLED 2

This moment is a still frame in my mind,
And soon it will hit the cutting room floor like all the rest.
All of the memories of life, stock piled in the corner of my mind
Constantly growing as each second passes,
And each being triggered with every familiar scent.

Out the car window it goes, like all the rest, tumbling down the freeway.
I need to set my mind free on the open road.
It’s where I need to be.

I need the California sun.
I am sick of dreaming for tomorrow.
I live for today.
I love today.
________________________________________________

UNTITLED 3

This melody will ring on in your brain until the season comes to hault,
And all the joy inside will subside.
It starts earlier and earlier each year to keep your hopes high,
To distract you from the collapse of all around you.

Keep singing the same songs if that's what makes you happy.
It will keep you pushing onward in these times where we wish we were far away.
Maybe things will change one of these days,
maybe things will change.

Today I awoke at 11:11 on 11/11

...and I have an excellent feeling about today (not to be a teenie bopper wishing every fucking night at 11:11, but today feels different)

The scene out my window portrays the skeleton of trees blotted against the beautiful blue Autumn sky. It gives me goosebumps.

This is going to be a busy day full of friends, family, and homework. I'm not too sure when it's going to begin, but I should probably get off my lazy ass soon and get moving.

I have been stressing a lot lately over school and my future and things of that nature, but I am going to use today to sort my mind out and get everything back on track. I need this. Real bad.

I really can't even keep my mind straight to keep writing. I am jittery and that's weird, I am never jittery. Oh...I finally wrote some new things for my collection of poetry which I will post later (I still need to touch them up a bit). I think I need to mow the lawn for my dad today. Other than that, today is going to be about self-fulfilment and finding myself through nature, friends, and family...and my homework. I hope to get a good portion of my creative writing homework accomplished today.

I feel like this blog today is a jumbled mess of absolutely nothing...oh well.


It's time to get this day moving.

gloom.

Rain, rain, rain. The sun has been missing in action for the past two days.

I am at a point in my life where I am truly stressed out beyond belief. The burden of school has finally caught up to me and I am drowning in school work. This will probably the most stressed out month of my life to date. I can only hope to get everything done that I need to and pass with decent grades. I see little social life in the future and many late nights to get myself back on track. But I gotta do what I gotta do.

I have been working on a poem for the past few days but I can't seem to figure out how to end it. Help and feedback would be nice via comment to this blog. Here it is:

I see peace in tonight’s autumn sky.
The orange glow of the moon reflects off of this quiet ghost town.
Even the smallest whispers echo throughout our atmosphere.

We try to piece together our thoughts of life, death, and everything in between.
This seems to be a constant struggle.
Our true intentions are always masked by something greater.

I don't know. Help if you can.

I really don't know what else to write about. I don't feel like rambling about the election and our new president. I just do not wanna go there right now. What I will say though, is that my vote went for Ron Paul. Hell yeah. I will also say, don't be surprised when we see very little to no change over the next four years.

I just realized that I always seem to post on Thursday's and I have no idea why. What an interesting feat.

I plan on finishing my poetry collection within the next week or two for creative writing, if I can get my creative juices flowing properly. I have had constant writers block for quite sometime now, I need to break that. I also need to get into the habit of writing daily again. I am falling,

somebody please catch me.

The Office is on tonight! Channel 4, 9:00PM. Watch it. You wont.

I think I will post a random picture.

See you next blog.

Until then.

dun dun dun...

Once again, I will preach, I have failed to keep up with this. Its been a week or two since I've last posted, but shit happens eh?

Everything is a-OK in my book right now. Things are panning out quite nicely. I was fortunate enough today to experience a boo-tay shaking contest at MCC. That was interesting to say the least.

The election is coming up in less than a week. I have a feeling some strange things will be happening over the next few weeks and months. Just a hunch. Something big...

School is going just okay right now, not too satisfied up to now with my progress in a few classes. But I hope to change things starting now, at the official halfway mark until the end of the semester.

Yesterday I went to Skillmans Lane with Dan. A haunted road in Franklin. Its pretty spooky. Check that shit out. I should post some pictures, maybe later if I'm not too lazy.

As for this weekend, tomorrow is Halloween. Kinda looking forward to it. Egon show in Sayreville I think, then who knows what after. Should make for a good time though. Saturday I need to start my history essay, which I have been putting off. I will probably put it off until Sunday after work at 10pm. Fuck. I actually need to put effort into this paper. Hopefully I can bang out a good grade.

And for tonight, I think I am meeting up with Dan in a bit, do some crazy bullshit, then watching the office with Jen, then meeting back up with Dan and Nicola and hang out with them for awhile, then....who knows from there. But that's my night. I am gonna go.

Hopefully I will post again soon.

Happy Halloween.

just some bullshitting.

The leaves are showering from the sky in various shades of orange, red, and yellow and I am left mesmerized.

The weekend is finally on its way, after a short week of classes, I am left with one last mid-term before I can finally relax this weekend. My cousins wedding is on Saturday, I am not really looking forward to it except for the fact that I will most likely be intoxicated. Other than that, tomorrow is Egon's second show which I am excited about. Should be a fun time then who knows what I will do after that.

As for tonight, I will probably study on and off for my sociology midterm until about 9? Then, the new episode of the Office is on. Can't wait for that. And to conclude my night I am going to Jen's house after the Office! Should be a good night. I am excited.

I am not sure what else to rant about. Some stupid shit has been going on in my life, but I am trying to look past it because it's really not worth all the bullshit. Life is to short to not be constantly happy.

I want a new tattoo.

that's all.


Until next time.

it's been awhile.

Here I am, waiting patiently for my creative writing class to start. I couldn't even tell you what is in store for this class tonight. The only thing I know, is that I forgot my dice.

I am becoming more and more lackadaisical about posting on this which isn't good. My free time has been consumed with various other activities and has left me little time to post my thoughts, feelings, etc on here. I am trying to make an effort to post more, for those who care.

There isn't too many new and exciting things going on. However, I am now officially in the fall mode and I love it. I just love the smell of the fall and the way the trees look. The weather is perfect. Life has been very good for the past few weeks. I am truly happy.

SHORT POST! class is about to begin. Hopefully I will catch up more on this in the later days of this week.

Until Then.

reconnecting after a few days.

It has been a few days since I've had the time to enlighten the public with my daily bullshit. But I had an excellent weekend and everything so it all works out.

There's Always An Egon put on their first show in a random basement in Sayreville on Saturday. It was hilarious and epic at the same time. I enjoyed their performance thoroughly.

The new Zeitgeist documentary Addendum came out this past Friday (available free online) and it completely blew me away. If you have never seen the first Zeitgeist, I advise you to watch both. (http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/) I will not post my opinions about it at this time, I will let you form your own. Educate yourselves on this corrupt world we live in, and if we all join together, we can save it. Some may think it is all bullshit, some may believe it. Regardless, it is better to be informed from all sides than just from what mainstream media feeds us.

I need to start keeping up with my poetry again. I am beginning to fall behind in my creative writing class, fuck. Hopefully I can write something worth while tonight but unfortunatly I need to start and possibly finish my history paper that is due Wednesday. Not looking forward to it the least bit. I can guarantee one thing though, it will be 100 % bullshit. Then, maybe I can work on my poetry.

But for now, my history paper awaits.

So until next time.

this is what i saw when i watched the 11 o'clock news last night

I could not contain my laughter. 

this is all i am leaving you with tonight.

enjoy.

He stood looking out the window, waiting for a sign. Then it came.

This is an assignment that I had to do tonight in creative writing. I really enjoyed it so I wanted to share it. The concept was to write a story about anything, but the phrase, "He/she stood looking out of the window, waiting for a sign. Then it came." had to be the last part of the story.

So here it is...

The television blared with static and white noise. The room was almost pitched black with rays of light slowly creeping in through the broken blinds. A man lay comatose on his bare mattress covered in dirt and god knows what else. Beer bottles and garbage scattered all around him. With no intentions on getting up, he threw a beer bottle at the television hoping to end futile sounds coming from it. The bottle shattered, and the television remained unharmed. He had finally given up, as did everyone else. After about an hour of staring blankly at his off white ceiling, he finally found it in himself to get up.
Staggering into the bathroom, he gazed through a mirror cracked from one end to the other, revealing his bloodshot eyes. He shook his head and said to himself, “It’s been a long time coming.”
After spilling his urine into a porcelain toilet which had been clogged for weeks, he sat dormant in his once newly furnished living room that now lay disheveled and broken. He reminisced to himself about his childhood and the way things used to be. He always expected something greater in life.
The news reports of the night before ran through his mind. Everything was soon to be over; it was just a matter of time now. The television sets across the world went blank at exactly midnight that night, and he had been waiting ever since. He stood looking out of the window, waiting for the sign. Then it came.

just another post.

I am completely content with life. I love it.

As I was walking to class today I saw the best haircut ever. It was on a man in his mid 60's I would say. He was completely bald on top with a shoulder length mullet in the back. It was absolutely priceless, I wish I had a picture to post of it. Even though it is forever burned into my mind. When I have a bad day I will be sure to think of this man and have a good laugh with myself.

The new Bayside album, Shudder dropped today. I was anxious to listen to it, so I bought it off itunes around 2 AM this morning because I couldn't sleep for some odd reason. I could have gotten it weeks ago but I have given up my music pirating ways long ago. After a few listens I have grown pretty fond of it. It isn't by any means the best thing they have put out. I feel it is one step above The Walking Wounded, and two steps below Sirens and Condolences and their self-titled album. The melodies, although catchy, are just plain weird and the lyrical content is nothing short of political, and Bayside and politics don't mix in my opinion. However, overall Shudder was a good album. 3.5 stars?

I see creative writing class in my future. I have still yet to come up with a theme for my poetry collection and it is due in 3 hours. Excellent.

It is a beautiful day today, I want to go skating or something.

And this is about the time when I end the post and do something productive, coffee sounds good right about now, and a cigarette. best combination ever.

Until next time.

one of my favorites.

Lets watch the sunset glaze over the horizon.
We blend orange and red into the ocean and dive in.
As we melt to become part of the sea, we never look back.
Lets exchange salt for time and live forever here.

When I wake up I spin and hit the ground,
Reality sets in, no longer in the ocean.
Bound by four walls and a mattress,
I will stay here, forever.

I wrote this sometime in January and it's still one of my favorites, so I decided to share.

save yourself.

It has been days since I've seen the sun, besides this morning. I don't like it.

If anybody needs something new to listen to, the new Sounds of Animals Fighting CD The Ocean and the Sun is absolutely incredible, it puts me to sleep every night. It's mind blowing how a group of such talented musicians can put together and record an entire album in one day, just mind blowing.

In other news...Bush's $700 billion dollar master bailout plan was rejected today, and the stock market is down around 700 points. Our nation is in a recession, people losing their jobs, and I can't help but imagine it's only going to get worse. We're all fucked. save yourself.

I have work now, so I am going to cut this short. Perhaps I will post later?

until then.

untitled.

It's 7:00 PM and I am ready for bed. Just got done with band practice and I couldn't be happier with the progress we are making up to this point. I see good things for us in the future.

I have absolutly no idea about what is going on for tonight, so many plans in the air. Ahhh fuck.

Last night was the New Found Glory, ADTR, FYS show and it was rediculous. None of the bands let me down and it was just a full blown good time. I miss going to shows, that being the last show I went to since Warped in July I think. I need to start going to more shows and getting back into it.

I don't know what else to write, I am completly unmotivated at this point.

hopefully i will end up doing somthing exciting tonight.

until next time.

I saw the moon divorce the sky

Another ordinary day for me. 8:15 wake up and its off to class till 2. The repetition of daily life is starting to drive me insane. I need something new and exciting in my life, asap. 

I am pleasantly surprised with the feedback I've been getting about my blog. I didn't think people would actually care about what I have to say, so knowing they do, it feels incredible. 

Anyway...

Today at school, a woman came up to me asking me if I would like to register to vote. Normally I wouldn't give anybody who randomly comes up to me trying to convince me to do something the time of day, but today I felt it was destiny. It has been on my mind to register after my whole Ron Paul shpeel, but I assumed I would just be too lazy to actually do it. So having someone come up to me with a registration form was very convenient. Despite the convenience of this woman, she was extremely ignorant. She hailed Obama because he supports change and blah blah blah, but what she fails to realize is that all politicians are full of shit. The last thing I needed was someone to preach their political views on me. I began to tell her about the North American Union, the one world power theory, and about v-chips and such that i believe will start happening over the next few years and she just stared blankly at me and took absolutely no regard for a word I was saying. Nothing but naivety. I am not really sure about what's going to happen over the next 5-8 years, but it should be interesting to see how it all pans out.

Okay, enough about politics.

The season premier of the office is tonight and I am counting down the hours. I have high hopes for the show this year. I will probably write a review on it here tomorrow or something. 

I am excited to go out tonight, even though my alarm will be ringing in my ears at 10 AM tomorrow morning for class, oh well. Tonight will not be a sober night, inebriation is calling my name.

I may post high later. So watch out.

Until then...

What an absolutely gorgeous day.

The sun is shining, hardly an clouds in the sky, and a perfect high in the low 70's with a breeze. I couldn't ask for better weather. 

Regardless of the weather I  have to work today. I wish I could just go lay down under a tree in a park and read and spend the rest of the day outside. Supposedly the weather forecast for the next few days is a 100% chance of shitty with isolated shit storms, so enjoy the weather while you can. 

I am mentally and physically exhausted between school and work, I feel like I never have a free minute anymore. I have so much to study for and so much to accomplish this semester, I am beyond overwhelmed. I am living for the weekend, only 3 more classes and 6 more hours of work. can't wait.

Today is my parents 25th wedding anniversary. 25 years and still in love with each other, its incredible. I hope one day to find love like they have, its a rare thing in this day and age. So congratulations Mom and Dad, I love both of you very much. 

So for now it is off to work until 10. I can't wait to see what i have in store for me today there, I'm sure it will fucking fantastic. I will post again later.

Until then..

if only there were a common theme to this night.

Class and homework have finally commenced and I can finally enjoy what's left of my night. 

I came to a crossroads today in my creative writing class. My teacher told me that the collection of poetry I am doing for my term project needs to have a common theme. This confuses me because I have never written a bunch of poems about one common theme. My writing has always been sporadic and about various subjects. I am nervous for the outcome of this. It will be a challenge for me, but I am ready. 

Tonight's activities include: 

- Researching Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass

- Come up with a theme for my collection of poems

- Write a poem with that theme (maybe)

- Watch the office

- Watch some more of the office

- Sleep

A busy night ahead I guess. 

I am looking forward to the NFG, ADTR, ISHC, and FYS show friday. Should be bonkers as Sean would say. I am also looking forward to band practice on saturday, that my friends should also be bonkers. 

I have nothing left to say, I don't think. 

Until I come up with something interesting... goodnight.

Ron Paul.

So today I was walking to class just like any other day and I passed a car with a sticker that said "Vote Ron Paul 08'" and I thought to myself, what an extraordinary idea. Although he has no chance what so ever of even coming close in the election, he stands for the right things and in my opinion would make an excellent president. I was not planning on voting this coming November because the politics of todays world is all bullshit and there is no really good candidate that has a chance, but now that I think about it, I will vote for Ron Paul. 

Paul was the only Republican congressman to oppose the bullshit war on terror. He also is against the Patriot Act and fully supports the rights of the American public. 

The best part of all is that Ron Paul believes that the only reason marijuana is illegal is because it cannot be taxed, which I also support, and he opposes this Nations war on drugs. 

I can't help but think what a different world this would be if a president like him would lead this country. Maybe one day our naive public will open their eyes and turn this country around. 

For more information on Ron Paul himself, click here.

I will post again later.

Until then.

ahhhh!

I am really starting to enjoy this thing.

I just got out of work, another slow night, shared with stupid fucking customers who don't know how to tip, and possibly one of the dumbest mexicans, no fuck that, dumbest humans alive. I am glad work is over for the night. I have nothing to look forward to except homework and studying for the evening. I guess it could always be worse.

I feel like writing a poem, but what else is new.

butttt, I will leave you with one I wrote the other night, which I am quite fond of.

so here it is, to whoever will actually read it, enjoy.

I am recollecting my thoughts that have been spilt over this stained white canvas
Splattered here, in every color of the spectrum, left for the world to pick apart.
Jumbled thoughts of who, why and where fill my brain.
Who am I?
Why am I here?
Where am I going?
These questions so simple, yet so complex.
If only I had an answer for them, I would be a lot better off.
I am puzzled.
I can feel the jigsaw molding and shaping each piece of my life.
Each fitting subsequently into one another.
The box is labeled 1000 pieces
1000 pieces of love, hate and utter destruction
One thousand pieces of my life
Being put together before my eyes

Until next time.

first post.

I figured I would make one of these. A few of my friends have them and I thought it would be a good way to post my writing and poetry and such. Hopefully i will be able to keep up with this, i am intrigued by it.

here is some writing for today, i wrote it for a friend who needed it for school. What a good friend i am, damn.

the topic is silence? I don't know but this is what i came up with. enjoy.

I will choke the words down my throat.

The words I would once voice to the world,

Are now rendered useless in the back of mind.

I want to stand up and shout to the heavens,

But my legs are shattered and my voice is shot.

My mouth is moving, and nothing is coming out.

This is my life on mute.

Here I am, subject to silence.

Not the sweet golden silence,

But the gut wrenching awkward silence.

The type of silence that can only be found when institutionalized.

The type of silence that if exposed to for too long,

Will drive you to that same institution.

The eye’s of my peers are seeing through me.

Seeing nothing more than an empty soul, without a voice.

Without a choice, I am silenced.

If only I could break the silence,

Drive everyone to a halt,

And whisper the words that mean the most…

With my voice I am everything,

I will raise and voice my cries.

Thats it for now, until next time.